💔ILLUSION💔
But as he was about to penetrate, I demanded he use protection.
“Babe”, he laughed,” you hate condoms”
“I know” I replied and laughed too but still insisted.
Groaning with frustration at the interruption of our session, he got up, went to the drawer and took a pack out.
I noticed it wasn't sealed. He took out the content and instead of three, it was just two.
“Why is one missing?” I asked, looking at him suspiciously and knowingly.
He refused to answer and wanted to get down to business but I pulled away and got up.
“Why is one missing?” I asked again
“This was how I bought it. Some come in twos, you know”
“Don’t you lie to me. You and I know that certain brand comes in threes. Where is the third?”
“Babe, I'm a man…”, he replied, smiling and reaching for me but I moved away. I got up and rushed into the bathroom immediately, refusing to believe what my stupid self was saying to me again and again.
I knew... I had always known but… I thought, just this once, it would be different.
I felt the usual wrenching feeling in my abdomen… I know that feeling and pain too well.
My chest felt tighter… breathing was suddenly difficult as I gasped for air. Panic.
He came to me in the bathroom and I pushed him away and began to yell.
“Stay the fuck away from me”, I cried. I felt betrayed, used, stupid, cheap…
“I thought I was different, I thought this was different. But I'm just like the rest of them to you, am I not??!!! I'm just a whore, a fantasy!!!”
I stormed out of the bathroom, walked straight to the wardrobe and began to get dressed as fast as my frantic hands could let me.
I needed to get the fuck away from there, away from him…
“Where are you going?” he asked
“Im leaving” I replied
“Don't be like this, come on. I'm sorry”
“Sorry? You're sorry?”
At that moment, if murder wasn't a crime, maybe I'd have bashed his head into the walls of that bedroom or against the wardrobe…
But as I looked at him...
“Fuck off. You're only sorry because you got caught”, my voice shook.
I grabbed my bag with a few of the stuff I had arrived with and walked to the door.
“You’re being too emotional…” he said, walking to the door to stop me from going out.
“If you take one more step, I swear…!!!”, I warned
I could see the fear in his eyes as his steps faltered and stopped halfway.
“I am not someone or something you use when you’re horny, or sad… I was naive and I fell for your stupid bullshit. How was I even blind to all of this?”
The tears now had started rolling down my cheeks, tears I had fought so hard to keep back.
“But I'm just like the rest of them... I'm just like the other girls you sleep with and come home like nothing happened... Stay away from me. I hate you”
“Now, you and I know that's a lie” he scoffed
Unfortunately, he was right. And he knew it.
I stormed out without looking back. My heart was shattered into a thousand pieces. To think that I fell for him…
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